Tom Patterson at the Gate
by David Kincaid

The pearly gates sat upon a cloud.
St. Peter told Tom, You are not allowed
to enter here according to my files
until you’ve paid a penance of 8,000 miles.
Tom said, No problem.

That is through the center of the earth.
Straight through hell. No fun. No mirth.
The last half is up hill all the way,
and that’s no thrill I must say.
Tom said, No problem.

There’s no motel. No place to stay.
There are no rest rooms along the way.
There are no trees. Not even a bush is there.
No place to rest. No place to hide anywhere.
Tom said, No problem.

Tom returned in a few days having completed the task.
He said he had. He had gone alone. There was no one to ask.
St. Peter was skeptical. He looked over his shoulder at God (or was it the Son)
It’s OK, He said in an all-knowing way. That’s Tom Patterson.
(God said, No problem.)

Tom turned as he was entering the gates.
May I request you send the miles to my hiking club mates
and the next member who comes in
Should bring to me my 50,000 mile pin.
St. Peter said, No problem.